I have had several drafts written in the past few months that I didn't find necessary to release, but this is an essay that I feel is very essential to write. When it comes to love, there are a lot of inequities and misconceptions in general globally, but when it comes to judging others' love, this is something that has tremendous gaps.
Some people tend to put timelines on love and affection, and deem love inappropriate if it doesn't match up with their timeline. However, I think one huge flaw made is that people really don't realize how quickly love actually moves. And I'm talking about real, and informed love. It doesn't take nearly as long as people like to think to know enough to really love someone. And I believe there is actually an abundance of fabricated love out there, that is more forced and structured. There is no such thing as setting love at a timeline of a specific range or length of months. It is organic. It can't be quantified or bottled.
Especially if you've been hurt or betrayed and fallen out of love, people question your ability to assess love going forward, which is understandable. But while you can have flawed judgement, you can also still have very clear judgement as long as you move forward in the right way. That's where perspective, closure, and honesty come into play in a big way. You have to completely unravel yourself, and go through vulnerable rebuilding. It's a beautiful thing what becomes of you on the other end of that. You become someone you can be proud of again.
Asking the right questions, getting the needed answers, and feeling totally and completely and honestly in love can happen and honestly often does happen very fast if it involved two people who have the feelings in a strong way. You may see it done differently the majority of the time, but honestly I think that happens when the people are inexperienced, far apart, having limited contact, or divided and distracted in other directions. That's the only real reason for the process to be drawn out. If the love between two people is capable of being one in a million, they will sense it before very long. There will be a period of getting to know what foundation there is underneath all of that, but it really doesn't take a long period of time to find if the foundation and the fantasy add up. It has nothing to do with blind infatuation. It's logical and clear love that is absolutely real.
Just like your favorite song, if you have an intellectual taste, had you at the beginning. There is initial surprise and infatuation with a flashy or catchy tune, but you know within a few listens over a couple of days if a song is timeless to you, or just a phase. Love works the same way. You just have to be honest with yourself, because what some people do is ignore the fact that they don't really feel a full love. They just really want to, and choose to push through whatever situation they have at hand. Those situations are the ones that get all short courtships labeled as impulsive. In reality, it is not about the time. As long as you have that in proper perspective, you don't have to fear how your timeline is moving. Just know that you will have many detractors. Don't let that discourage you. It is unavoidable. The main thing of importance is that the couple themselves are on the same page.
