I haven't been taking too much of a break lately, though it may seem so. Actually, I may be doing so shortly, as I am expecting a child in the coming months. Just found out yesterday. Thanks in advance for the congratulations. Anyway, I've been working on literary works. It takes quite a bit more time to get books done compared to albums or art pieces. I'm still getting over the shock of the coming baby, who I hope is a boy, but I'll try to stay focused to get the other news out.
Youtube seems like it's been dead lately, which I find odd. I've actually been going back and watching some of my favorite uploaders in the years past. It's entertaining watching entertainers when they were younger and had a bit more energy and drive. Another thing I've gotten to do finally, in the past few weeks, is to go and see live music at a local venue here in upstate NY. It really bothers me when I get to a point in life where I don't have time to smell the roses. To me, that's the point when something has to change. I noticed that I was getting out my my spiritual and physical workout routines lately, and just sleeping to work, and that was very depressing. Most likely I've been doing too much.
I recently had a great trip to Europe, where I saw my mom's family in London and Birmingham, England, and also got see a brand new country in Barcelona, Spain, with my younger sister and older brother. It was exhausting, but fun. I think we probably walked about 15 miles in my estimation, if not more. Either way, I had a good time seeing the parks and museums. Particularly the London Museum, which had a ton of history. I saw more there than some other museums actually. One thing that bothered me, is that the African exhibit was buried in the basement, away from the others, and had no tie-in. My brother said that it's just indicative of England's history to do that, but it still bothered me. I've never been a master historian, but I am a fan of studying it, and so much is misconstrued, often on purpose. Africa has such a rich history, and often, "blacks" and "Africans" are simplified and separated from humanity, like a bunch of meaningless people who just mingled amongst themselves throughout history, until they were brought out of Africa by benevolent slavers and civilized in other countries. That notion disgusts me, and it's more disgusting that blacks in this era accept that proudly. There was a documentary that my father-in-law and I were looking at some time ago, talking about the African culture that can be found in Europe and other countries like Indonesia. Also there are other countries besides Europe that have a rich history with African countries, such as Asian countries. And I don't mean the exploitation events with exports and resources that goes on today, which is what your mind most likely goes to as I say that. I covered this briefly in an essay a while back. Myself being a prime example, as I come from Sicilians and Asians who migrated TO Africa. Not just Africans who moved out. Likely, they would associate me with Moors, but I'm sure it's much more than that, even thought Moors have a loaded history themselves. Anyway, that was my take on the museum. None of that was mentioned or eluded to in the exhibits. Other than that, it was mind-blowing.
We saw an incredible Flamenco show, that turned me on even more to the culture of specifically the Catalan region and history of Spain. We also got to see a famous Monastery in Monseratt, Spain, which had a bunch of history as well. It was a great trip, that was worth the cost.
When I came back, I made it to a evening music show at a spot near me. It just so happens that a drummer I've heard a few times, and followed, had a show that night. I wasn't super thrilled, because I was hoping to hear something new at first. But I did, as he had a solid bass player, and a very good Sax player on with him. I spoke with the sax player between sets, and spoke about jamming. I bought a couple of his CD's and stayed for the entire show. I went alone, and had a good time. The thing that got me, was when I listened to the $20 of CD's I brought from him the next day. One disc was a recomp of a famous Avante Garde piece, and the other was an original album. The Avante Garde piece was "I Don't Hear Nothing But the Blues." It was 45 minutes, and included no bass. I have a deep respect for experimental music and listened to about 25 minutes of it, listening for ideas. I then put in his original record, and listened to the first few tracks. I have deep respect for the musician, as he was a very nice person. But I couldn't help but wonder what happened to listening, yet again.
Here he is, a respected horn player, who has won prestigious awards for his ability, which he does deserve. Yet, the records clearly sounded like a musician exploiting a reputation they already have, while flailing wildly on a recording. There is no sense of, "Let me give this all I got," on any of it, because there doesn't have to be. He has a cult following, and while maybe not having monster sales, he sells.Yet, the albums didn't come close, in my opinion, of conveying his actual ability and creativity, from the beautiful solos I heard during the session. I wondered, "How is he getting away with this." I even listened to my own last 2 records, Standing Still Symphony X, and Religion, wondering, what I was missing. I gave copies to my brother, and to my first music teacher and close family friend. The feedback I got from them, was neither respectful or disrespectful. It was as if the records aren't worthy of a serious opinion. My teacher just said she couldn't hear it, which blew my mind, because, I'm like, "Uhh, did you turn the volume down before playing?" And my brother did give extensive feedback on a bunch of the tracks, but it seemed more of a case of what he was used to hearing versus, what I wasn't doing on the record. I'm like, "Just to be clear, I am doing everything on there on purpose, and for a reason." It's just so hard, being in this game for over 11 years seriously now, for me to get past this perception of a rookie hobbyist. I mean, I know of quite a few friends and family who do things other than clock in each day at a job, and there is some merit tied to their ventures. At this point, even if you can't follow what I'm doing on record, I should get some kind of respect as a pro, just based off of how long I've been at it. On a good note, I have been getting royalties and stuff lately, so there is some movement of CD's
The thing is that, not to sound jaded, but I was eyeing going for a musical award of some kind, from the moment I started polishing Standing Still Symphony X. I knew it was a daunting task, but I felt I was up to it, at least as an experimental composer. I didn't go to Manhattan Music School or Juliard, but I've had a decent enough residency and teaching to where I can convey and compose. I would of course, like to get better all the time, but I'm not hampered to the point that I'm still in school mode. I've been a composer for quite some time professionally. Education never stops, but it was only to enhance what I was already doing over the years. And when I go back and listen to Religion especially, I don't see why I shouldn't get some kind of merit. I wonder if it just hasn't reached the right people or what. But I've heard quite a few albums and work from indie artists, and experimental giants, and I think a lot of things come down to perception and notoriety. Religion, I'm not going to say, is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but just listening off of the ear test, deserves some place in mention. I wanted to win a downbeat award. I used to think only the most schooled musicians get it, but I found that isn't true. Many experimental artists get those awards yearly. I haven't had more than 1 review for Religion yet, but if anyone knows of a way to get it heard by people like DownBeat Magazine, I'm all ears.
Other than that, I've been cleaving through my backlog of games, when I can. I'm trying to get to a professionally good level in Street Fighter 5, and I now realize the insane time that it takes. Developing the muscle memory and skill to compete is a tall task. But it does feel good to get good enough in fighting games to pull of impressive combos and school good players. There's something about being on that level that is fulfilling. I think that's something that has changed over the years. Specifically fighting games have sort of ostracized the casual gaming community. Every fighting game player, is either a pro in training, or eventually being pushed out of playing altogether, due to the inherent difficulty, and high level of online competition. I respect that, but I have mixed feelings. Back in the day, I can remember things from the other side of the fence. When we were kids growing up, me and my brother always loved fighting games to the max, and went to sleep overs at friends houses playing them for whole weekends. But we weren't that good. We used to lose, but everyone lost. Everyone struggled. But the mechanics were simple and universal. The timing of attacks and simple combos were completely under your control. It made the game fun, and I think Smash Bros is the only fighting game today that somewhat maintains that.
Fast forward to today, and as time went by, a select few of us looked to compete on some kind of level. I was privileged enough to have been one of the kids who cut his teeth in the heart of the arcade era, amongst tournament players, in games like Fatal Fury, King of Fighters, Capcom Vs. SNK, Smash Brothers Melee, and Marvel vs. Capcom 1 and 2. I participated in a Smash Brothers Melee tournament, before the online and social media era began, back in the early 2000's. So my roots were set. But I don't think I would enjoy fighting games the same if that wasn't the case. Today, they have changed fighting games tremendously. For instance, in games like Injustice and Street Fighter 5, as well as SF xTekken, you cannot time things the way you want to. The combo systems are now super intricate, and the timing for each character is convoluted and specific, not intuitive and rhythmic. Because of that, it takes hours, days, and weeks of grinding, to get solid with a character on any level. Then you have the difficulty of the games being set for tournament players. Even the modes and content of these game, aside from Injustice, are tailored for people who are going to eventually compete in some capacity. Most people I meet who game now, used to play fighting games. Now, just those who are serious do, which is sad.
Aside from that, I've been trying to get back into using my brain for a change. I haven't had time to really shed on my instrument in a while, and I'm getting rusty. I also haven't read a book in far too long. It's surprising how your vocabulary, and brain processing skills diminish insidiously, without use. But I mentioned that in my martial arts manual several years ago. Without use the body atrophies. And it's so easy to do, and so common. I now realize why so few people do you come across, who are sharp and involved and skilled in later years. I've watched as many people I know, even in my age group, have less and less drive and energy. The goals and stuff get dismissed over the years, being called childish. The truth is that you've become too weak and tired physically and mentally to keep chasing them and reaching them. It's like physical fitness. People keep it up in the early goings, but what happens. You get around 35-40 years old, start to realize you have to work harder, and slowly develop a gut. You accept that as the way things are, and you actually begin to rationalize it as some kind of prestigious existence, even mocking those who still have drive. I've seen this mindset time and again. And it's so easy to fall into it.
Then health problems set in, and children come along. Before long, you're another balding, bloating layman, who's brain and muscles have shriveled to prunes, beyond the point of repair, and at that point, you don't care anymore, because you figure, what does it matter anyway, in the grand scheme of things. And to a degree, you have a point. But that's the danger, because then you see the 70 year olds later on, healthy and free, and reaching new heights. Most importantly, they have their faculties, teeth, and are enjoying the life they have. At that point, you start with the "I wishes." Don't let that happen to you.
Anyway, enough rambling. here are the links to the 2 latest books, released under the J-Team Inc. banner- "Food with Friends," and "It's Good." Please check them out and pass along if you can.
Food With Friends
Actually, my apologies. The novel, "It's Good," is not released yet. It is still in production, and being proofed. I will have more info soon. Stay tuned for that.
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