All of these recent events have brought to mind a poem of mine that I wanted to include in the novel. I lost the original drafts of it, but have just recovered them. I never titled it. Here it is:
Thick foliage providing shade for already darkened skies
The facade of mankind providing shade for already darkened eyes.
I guess that's why they hate the dark guy.
These days, people ask why not more than they ask why.
What I'd like to hear more of is talk of defeat.
I'll explain.
So often, you hear the debauched criticizing the principled as thoughtless.
Yet, visibly to all, they walk in anguish.
You don't believe in the way you act.
You've conceded to it.
If understanding something makes you fall out of love with it,
You really never loved it in the first place.
If I tell my oppressor his actions are deliberate, he smiles and calls me crazy.
If I use my fists and blow him away, he never smiles again.
Just when it seems unfair, look -
The beauty of balance.
But why must it always come to this?
Why must it always come down to the lingerie of a murderer -
Gloves
Covering the identity of madness.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Follow Up to the Therapy Session
I wasn't exactly sure what to name this post. It's somewhat of a carry over of the end of my last blog post. And I do this simply because it is such a loaded subject, and is vital in various ways to everyone.
A lot of people that you approach with the truth, generally tend to have a very similar response. That is to base their acceptance on their view of the speaker. One thing I have stressed in my writings over the years is that Jason, nor anybody else, invented the truth. When I speak something true, hating me is not going to do a single productive thing. And if you think I've erred, you have to accept the basis on which I came to the conclusion. Sometimes, I as well anyone, can arrive at a wrong conclusion. It can happen as long as you're imperfect. But yet still, sometimes this is due to very real base facts. For instance, in my last blog post I mentioned an associate who I communicated with on a comfortable level with for some time, and considered a friend. I spoke of him being moreso of an associate at this point due to the behavioral stance he has taken towards me in recent times. After that, I specifically reiterated that I consider him a friend, and am confused as to his sudden switch in stance. The perspective of associate is changed and controlled by his attitude. Now, if he would read that, the all too common juvenile reaction is to see me as a cancer who has ill will towards him. Then he would do what the vast majority of today's psychologically challenged society does- brush off all that he heard, despise the person who said it, put up a wall, and go off his way in a rage. That would be childish, yet it's behavior I have witnessed often over the years. If I were the person myself, I would stop and break down what was said. The first thing I would conclude if anything, is that something about my recent behavior towards them, has them believing I no longer trust or like them. Then I would go from there. At no point would I insert malice on their part, because nothing about that statement said anything of the sort. The fact is that when there is an issue, the easiest thing for people to do is make themselves the victim.
And at the end of the day, what is true is just plain true. The fact that there is no getting around that leads to a lot of lazy people just shutting their brains off to all sense. The truth is like a weight, that over time has become heavy to lift, in an out-of-shape world. People like it less and less, and more and more people have put it down altogether. But truth, just like a real metal weight, is matter that cannot be destroyed. So it's pointless and stupid to try to ignore its existence. Not only my last blog, but the last few years, I have annoyed and disgusted a lot of possessed individuals simply by uttering the truth. I'm not perfect, or an angel at all. I make mistakes, and am capable of malice. However, I'm not blind. A lot of people lazily put so much faith in numbers. Simply due to the fact that there are a number of people who are at odds with one person, the principle has become that the majority must be right. However, I disagree with that enormously. What about the Messiah. If you used that same principle, that would mean that the clear and evident truth he bore was wrong. When I was a kid, I remember sitting in class as my math teacher was introducing a new formula. The entire class, including myself, believed he was making some mistake in his teaching, because it didn't make sense to us yet. In fact, some of us did formulas ourselves and showed it to him in an argument that he was wrong. In time, however, once he quieted the class, he showed the truth. Proof of my observations is the fact that most people reading this paragraph will be stuck in the middle, thinking that I'm comparing myself to the Messiah. Why? Because their brains have become trained by today's world to think in word association, and clusters. I know this because I've used that example before. The minute they hear an argument, and then hear that name, they compare the subjects, when if you read it again, you'll see that it isn't comparing the subjects at all. It's comparing the environments of the subjects. Truth is not subjective. You have to embrace that.
Going back to what I said, I have gained the ire of many individuals, and if you analyze every word and action of mine, you won't find perfection, but you will find a constant of truth. Because I speak the truth, I've become many people's reflection, even unknowingly. That's one explanation for certain individuals who associated with me and then suddenly stopped cold without any contact or incident. Of course, deeper, and even more sinister reasons can exist I'm sure. It's just that, even giving them the benefit of the doubt, that would be the best explanation of their behavior. The explanation, regardless of how many of them there is, can't be me. That's the point. I didn't invent the truth. I also can't bear the world's demons. Because if I disappear tomorrow, whatever issues lie within those people I mentioned, will still be there. That's just what I wanted to finish bringing out- we have to all own our own reflections. We have to face our decisions. I mentioned earlier, the possible reactions of those individuals, should they read the blog. It doesn't matter to me. Even if it did, that would be pointless, because I can't save them. I know, they know, God knows, and whomever else spawns and inspires their behavior knows, that they all made conscious decisions to walk their paths. Using me as an excuse, or smokescreen only does what self-destructive fools have been doing for ages- put a bandaid on a mortal wound. And no, numbers do not mean everything. Sometimes a bitter change in someone's behavior isn't brought about because of what they suddenly see in another, but what they suddenly see in themselves. Regardless, the battle lies in all of us personally, and no other way. Thank you
A lot of people that you approach with the truth, generally tend to have a very similar response. That is to base their acceptance on their view of the speaker. One thing I have stressed in my writings over the years is that Jason, nor anybody else, invented the truth. When I speak something true, hating me is not going to do a single productive thing. And if you think I've erred, you have to accept the basis on which I came to the conclusion. Sometimes, I as well anyone, can arrive at a wrong conclusion. It can happen as long as you're imperfect. But yet still, sometimes this is due to very real base facts. For instance, in my last blog post I mentioned an associate who I communicated with on a comfortable level with for some time, and considered a friend. I spoke of him being moreso of an associate at this point due to the behavioral stance he has taken towards me in recent times. After that, I specifically reiterated that I consider him a friend, and am confused as to his sudden switch in stance. The perspective of associate is changed and controlled by his attitude. Now, if he would read that, the all too common juvenile reaction is to see me as a cancer who has ill will towards him. Then he would do what the vast majority of today's psychologically challenged society does- brush off all that he heard, despise the person who said it, put up a wall, and go off his way in a rage. That would be childish, yet it's behavior I have witnessed often over the years. If I were the person myself, I would stop and break down what was said. The first thing I would conclude if anything, is that something about my recent behavior towards them, has them believing I no longer trust or like them. Then I would go from there. At no point would I insert malice on their part, because nothing about that statement said anything of the sort. The fact is that when there is an issue, the easiest thing for people to do is make themselves the victim.
And at the end of the day, what is true is just plain true. The fact that there is no getting around that leads to a lot of lazy people just shutting their brains off to all sense. The truth is like a weight, that over time has become heavy to lift, in an out-of-shape world. People like it less and less, and more and more people have put it down altogether. But truth, just like a real metal weight, is matter that cannot be destroyed. So it's pointless and stupid to try to ignore its existence. Not only my last blog, but the last few years, I have annoyed and disgusted a lot of possessed individuals simply by uttering the truth. I'm not perfect, or an angel at all. I make mistakes, and am capable of malice. However, I'm not blind. A lot of people lazily put so much faith in numbers. Simply due to the fact that there are a number of people who are at odds with one person, the principle has become that the majority must be right. However, I disagree with that enormously. What about the Messiah. If you used that same principle, that would mean that the clear and evident truth he bore was wrong. When I was a kid, I remember sitting in class as my math teacher was introducing a new formula. The entire class, including myself, believed he was making some mistake in his teaching, because it didn't make sense to us yet. In fact, some of us did formulas ourselves and showed it to him in an argument that he was wrong. In time, however, once he quieted the class, he showed the truth. Proof of my observations is the fact that most people reading this paragraph will be stuck in the middle, thinking that I'm comparing myself to the Messiah. Why? Because their brains have become trained by today's world to think in word association, and clusters. I know this because I've used that example before. The minute they hear an argument, and then hear that name, they compare the subjects, when if you read it again, you'll see that it isn't comparing the subjects at all. It's comparing the environments of the subjects. Truth is not subjective. You have to embrace that.
Going back to what I said, I have gained the ire of many individuals, and if you analyze every word and action of mine, you won't find perfection, but you will find a constant of truth. Because I speak the truth, I've become many people's reflection, even unknowingly. That's one explanation for certain individuals who associated with me and then suddenly stopped cold without any contact or incident. Of course, deeper, and even more sinister reasons can exist I'm sure. It's just that, even giving them the benefit of the doubt, that would be the best explanation of their behavior. The explanation, regardless of how many of them there is, can't be me. That's the point. I didn't invent the truth. I also can't bear the world's demons. Because if I disappear tomorrow, whatever issues lie within those people I mentioned, will still be there. That's just what I wanted to finish bringing out- we have to all own our own reflections. We have to face our decisions. I mentioned earlier, the possible reactions of those individuals, should they read the blog. It doesn't matter to me. Even if it did, that would be pointless, because I can't save them. I know, they know, God knows, and whomever else spawns and inspires their behavior knows, that they all made conscious decisions to walk their paths. Using me as an excuse, or smokescreen only does what self-destructive fools have been doing for ages- put a bandaid on a mortal wound. And no, numbers do not mean everything. Sometimes a bitter change in someone's behavior isn't brought about because of what they suddenly see in another, but what they suddenly see in themselves. Regardless, the battle lies in all of us personally, and no other way. Thank you
Saturday, December 27, 2014
The Season Finale of The Beast
This is the 3rd and Final chapter of my MMA Series
I had I nice time attempting and completing my title run in UFC 3. I've finished the footage and the lead up fights and they are in this final episode. I tried to make the video more involved and fluid. Hopefully it's enjoyable. I miss involving other gamers in the episodes, because it gives a more hilarious and raw vibe. Hopefully, I can do stuff like that in the future.
I had I nice time attempting and completing my title run in UFC 3. I've finished the footage and the lead up fights and they are in this final episode. I tried to make the video more involved and fluid. Hopefully it's enjoyable. I miss involving other gamers in the episodes, because it gives a more hilarious and raw vibe. Hopefully, I can do stuff like that in the future.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Nostalgia
- just as a side note, I have to comment on how I get traffic here. Not to put people on the spot, but come one. There is no need to be afraid of bookmarking, or following the site. I see there are no followers, but seemingly regular visitors who are a bit scared of joining the site, but rather pull it up on google. Guys, nothing is going to happen to you if you click the follow/join button. LOL. just saying
Yesterday, I had a very profound moment of nostalgia that carried over into today. I might sound like Johnny Millenium when I go into this story, and to be honest, I almost want to do a video on my youtube, only it's weird to do those kind of videos if you don't have a huge following. You just can't pull it off the same, even if you do a great job.
I went to visit an associate's house. I'm cool with his youngest son, who's just 12, and often play games with him and keep him company. He seems to enjoy it, and calls me over very regularly- to the point of excess. He is very good at games, and a pretty broad minded young kid, even if a bit too direct at times, but that's just his nature. I like teaching him things about the generation that I came from, and seeing the surprise. Like talking about Pokemon. I'm not a fan of Pokemon, but I remember when it came out, the original theme song, and the buzz surrounding it with the first games. It's also sick to see that it's still at large. I appreciate carry over series like that to a degree, because they give a nice depiction of how far we've come over time. On youtube, I was watching some young kids argue over how dumb the old Pokemon was, and I was laughing to myself at the cycle that persists of the current generation always undermining and trashing the founders of what they love today. Most of today's entertainment has taken a complete step backwards, but you would be hard-pressed to convince a youth of this generation of that, because it's all they ever knew.
When I came over, he implored me to bring over Smash Brothers Melee. I put it in the box, as well as Metroid Prime, and went over. Before we started, he had to ask his father if we could play. You know when you get that feeling that someone's impression of you has taken some sudden, yet permanent turn for the worse? That's the reason I mention his father as an associate, not necessarily a friend. It isn't because I don't get along with him. Anyone who knows me, knows that I always find a way to like people- even the people that no one else likes. It's just at a somewhat awkward point, where it feels like, while he doesn't verbalize it, he doesn't trust me the same, or feel as cool with me. I don't know why exactly, but we still have good conversations nonetheless. To be clear, I personally see him as a friend, as I do everyone, but that's something that has to go both ways. It's clearly visible that we have gone from first meeting, and talking freely, to having a communication gap of sorts. Anyhow, I chill with his son primarily and it's pretty fun. The son came back down, and said he was allowed to play it. I was somewhat expecting a no, but I told him to put it in the system.
We started the game up at first, I realized that the characters weren't unlocked. I wanted to get Falco at least, so I told him to go online and look up how to unlock the characters, because it's been so long since I did that. To get Falco, as many of you old-timers may know, you have to complete the 100 man melee. So I started it and used Link to make quick work of the cpu bots. Towards the end, I started losing, and he starts laughing and saying that I'm going to get knocked out. Then I said something that made me pause, "No. Sorry, but I've been playing this game longer than you've been alive." At first, I just said it mindlessly, and then I picked up the box after a few seconds to remind myself, that it came out in December I believe, of 2001. He was born in 2002. I sat back, after realizing that, and just stared dreamily at the screen, remembering the days that me and my friends would meet at either my house or my friends' houses to play that game almost every day. And it never got old. When it came out, I remember us talking about the first Smash Brothers game being 5 years old. Then after playing the game for 5 years, we looked back and talked about how we started playing it when the original was 5 years old, and now it's 5 years old. We also said that years down the line, we would look back and play this game after 20 years or so, and we laughed. We took it lightly, but we also knew it to hold some truth, because the game really is that good. It is one of the rare gems to come out in gaming history, that can carry a console by itself. I remember when it was the only game I had on Gamecube, and I would never be bored because of all the game has to offer. Not many games can do that. And I sat and thought about how it's actually been 13 years. I repeated that out loud several times, just floored with amazement. Amazement at how long it's been, and amazement at how good it still is. The graphics are just as crisp and the gameplay, amazing and timeless.
I started to show him how to play the game, and explain all of the controls and mechanics to him. I couldn't help but get excited all over again, like I was finding the game again through his eyes. It was just as fun as it was all of those years ago. Just holding the box, and looking at it, I felt like I was right back in highschool going over to play it at my friend's house all over again. I'm proud to still have Smash Brothers Melee. And it was good to have this stretch of time to build myself up, and be a kid again for a change. I got to beat a couple of games, such as Assassin's Creed: Revelations, and Fight Night: Champion. I always love the AC series, and have been following it since the beginning, as well as the spin off games and videos online that cover deeper aspects of it. It was good to be frustrated as well, in it's own way. Fight Night Champion started off very simple, and had a last boss that was absolutely legendarily hard. It was kind of cool to be frustrated trying to beat him, as I sat and retried for hours. Honestly, I almost broke the game at one point. I took it out of the console, and after holding it in my hands, contemplating snapping it, I threw it like a shuriken across my apartment. It smacked a wall, and shot into another room. I thought it was broken, especially when I saw the scratches on it, but I was able to restore it with my CD Doctor. I kept playing, and almost losing it again. I went online, and looked up forums on how impossible he can be. Finally, I beat him. It was great to be able to sit and work through a game like that again, and I only get time to do stuff like that on a vacation. That's why it's so important to me to take 2 weeks off every year in the winter time.
Then, that night, I had a very surreal dream. I was walking through a park I used to live by and describing the times of youth there to a person. As I was doing so, kids were on the fringes of the park, walking along the path. At one point, we reached a huge rock that used to sit in the middle, and you could look down the narrow path to the other entrance, that runs through thick foliage. I described how we would run through there, and in mid sentence I fell to my knees and began sobbing in nostalgia. I don't know why the emotion was so strong, but apparently it was audible and forced my wife to shake me awake. She told me I was having a nightmare, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her that it was a very powerful and nostalgic dream, and those were cries of joy and longing at the same time. I just kept that to myself, and thought about how this vacation of mine has given me a chance to step back in time in various ways and remember what got me to today. First, it was a long overdue visit to my parents, where we got to voice meaningful words to one another for the first time in ages, and grow from it. And then, it was, of all things, a game - Smash Brothers Melee, that brought up all of these emotions towards a time that was truly beautiful. I'm fulfilled at this point, and invigorated for whatever it is that I'll do next.
I don't want to end this with a sour patch, but if I leave out what this brings to mind, I feel like I'm being dishonest. You see, over the last few years, there have been a number of individuals that have turned heel so to speak for reasons they don't say. People I know by the names of Todd, Daniel, his brother Luke, Khalil and some others, are among these. I don't say this to bash anyone, but rather just to make a point. I'm at an age, or point in life, if you will, where I like to get to the heart of matters, and say what needs to be said. I think that as you get older and older, the politics start to disappear in your mind. I actually love that about older people. These people I'm speaking of, have completely begun to despise me, and the sad thing is that it has nothing to do with anything negative that I've done, but apparently demons that they face. I've associated with all of these people at various points in the past, and it was a positive experience at the time. With one of them, they were actually the best man in my wedding, and an associate, when suddenly, around the time that my wife got gravely ill and was in the hospital, there was some reason in that, to suddenly despise me and never speak to me again, even when we moved into his area. With another of them, they were like a best friend who I hung out with for years, even as recently as this year, doing an art gallery in Brooklyn together, when suddenly, after a good event, completely cut me off and refused to ever speak with me again. Then there was another, who I collaborated with on a couple of my jazz albums and associated and encouraged for years, who meets and stops me in Models one day to tell me that he's ordered my new book, and looking forward to reading it, and then following that up with telling me to contact him on Facebook. Somewhere in all of that, he chose to actually lie about purchasing the book, and then cut me off when I simply asked if his order went through. All I was doing was trying to see if I could get him a discount, and make sure his order process properly. Yet something in himself caused him to project self hatred onto me.
What inspires all of this behavior you ask? I have absolutely no idea, although in my novel, I briefly touch on a theory. But regardless, I'm not saying this to air out my business or dirty laundry, because that isn't what I even consider it to be. Years ago, in younger days, I vented about things like this and pointlessly confronted people over their strange behavior, as if forcing an agreement. Now, at my age, I simply say that I pity these people, because whatever reasons they chose to embark on these senseless paths of hatred, they just aren't worth life, and it's sad that people can't see that. When I look back and also look forward to a new year, I see the final years of my current job nearing, and new plans for where I'll live in the future, as well what I'll do. I honestly pray for all of the people out there who have dedicated their lives to a complete, and stupid dead end. Hopefully this blog reaches some of them, and they are mature enough to see what it's really saying. To be clear once again, I have love for these ones, as I do everyone. I'm not bound by sad and obligatory hatred. If they tense up and hate me further after reading this, I really don't care obviously. Just think about this- it was stupid to create the rift out of nowhere in the first place, and that all lies on YOU. We all have to assess dead weight in our lives and clean it out. If they honestly think that their behavior has accomplished something, they are sadly mistaken. I'm not saying this to insult them, but to, if possible, move them to get on track.
Yesterday, I had a very profound moment of nostalgia that carried over into today. I might sound like Johnny Millenium when I go into this story, and to be honest, I almost want to do a video on my youtube, only it's weird to do those kind of videos if you don't have a huge following. You just can't pull it off the same, even if you do a great job.
I went to visit an associate's house. I'm cool with his youngest son, who's just 12, and often play games with him and keep him company. He seems to enjoy it, and calls me over very regularly- to the point of excess. He is very good at games, and a pretty broad minded young kid, even if a bit too direct at times, but that's just his nature. I like teaching him things about the generation that I came from, and seeing the surprise. Like talking about Pokemon. I'm not a fan of Pokemon, but I remember when it came out, the original theme song, and the buzz surrounding it with the first games. It's also sick to see that it's still at large. I appreciate carry over series like that to a degree, because they give a nice depiction of how far we've come over time. On youtube, I was watching some young kids argue over how dumb the old Pokemon was, and I was laughing to myself at the cycle that persists of the current generation always undermining and trashing the founders of what they love today. Most of today's entertainment has taken a complete step backwards, but you would be hard-pressed to convince a youth of this generation of that, because it's all they ever knew.
When I came over, he implored me to bring over Smash Brothers Melee. I put it in the box, as well as Metroid Prime, and went over. Before we started, he had to ask his father if we could play. You know when you get that feeling that someone's impression of you has taken some sudden, yet permanent turn for the worse? That's the reason I mention his father as an associate, not necessarily a friend. It isn't because I don't get along with him. Anyone who knows me, knows that I always find a way to like people- even the people that no one else likes. It's just at a somewhat awkward point, where it feels like, while he doesn't verbalize it, he doesn't trust me the same, or feel as cool with me. I don't know why exactly, but we still have good conversations nonetheless. To be clear, I personally see him as a friend, as I do everyone, but that's something that has to go both ways. It's clearly visible that we have gone from first meeting, and talking freely, to having a communication gap of sorts. Anyhow, I chill with his son primarily and it's pretty fun. The son came back down, and said he was allowed to play it. I was somewhat expecting a no, but I told him to put it in the system.
We started the game up at first, I realized that the characters weren't unlocked. I wanted to get Falco at least, so I told him to go online and look up how to unlock the characters, because it's been so long since I did that. To get Falco, as many of you old-timers may know, you have to complete the 100 man melee. So I started it and used Link to make quick work of the cpu bots. Towards the end, I started losing, and he starts laughing and saying that I'm going to get knocked out. Then I said something that made me pause, "No. Sorry, but I've been playing this game longer than you've been alive." At first, I just said it mindlessly, and then I picked up the box after a few seconds to remind myself, that it came out in December I believe, of 2001. He was born in 2002. I sat back, after realizing that, and just stared dreamily at the screen, remembering the days that me and my friends would meet at either my house or my friends' houses to play that game almost every day. And it never got old. When it came out, I remember us talking about the first Smash Brothers game being 5 years old. Then after playing the game for 5 years, we looked back and talked about how we started playing it when the original was 5 years old, and now it's 5 years old. We also said that years down the line, we would look back and play this game after 20 years or so, and we laughed. We took it lightly, but we also knew it to hold some truth, because the game really is that good. It is one of the rare gems to come out in gaming history, that can carry a console by itself. I remember when it was the only game I had on Gamecube, and I would never be bored because of all the game has to offer. Not many games can do that. And I sat and thought about how it's actually been 13 years. I repeated that out loud several times, just floored with amazement. Amazement at how long it's been, and amazement at how good it still is. The graphics are just as crisp and the gameplay, amazing and timeless.
I started to show him how to play the game, and explain all of the controls and mechanics to him. I couldn't help but get excited all over again, like I was finding the game again through his eyes. It was just as fun as it was all of those years ago. Just holding the box, and looking at it, I felt like I was right back in highschool going over to play it at my friend's house all over again. I'm proud to still have Smash Brothers Melee. And it was good to have this stretch of time to build myself up, and be a kid again for a change. I got to beat a couple of games, such as Assassin's Creed: Revelations, and Fight Night: Champion. I always love the AC series, and have been following it since the beginning, as well as the spin off games and videos online that cover deeper aspects of it. It was good to be frustrated as well, in it's own way. Fight Night Champion started off very simple, and had a last boss that was absolutely legendarily hard. It was kind of cool to be frustrated trying to beat him, as I sat and retried for hours. Honestly, I almost broke the game at one point. I took it out of the console, and after holding it in my hands, contemplating snapping it, I threw it like a shuriken across my apartment. It smacked a wall, and shot into another room. I thought it was broken, especially when I saw the scratches on it, but I was able to restore it with my CD Doctor. I kept playing, and almost losing it again. I went online, and looked up forums on how impossible he can be. Finally, I beat him. It was great to be able to sit and work through a game like that again, and I only get time to do stuff like that on a vacation. That's why it's so important to me to take 2 weeks off every year in the winter time.
Then, that night, I had a very surreal dream. I was walking through a park I used to live by and describing the times of youth there to a person. As I was doing so, kids were on the fringes of the park, walking along the path. At one point, we reached a huge rock that used to sit in the middle, and you could look down the narrow path to the other entrance, that runs through thick foliage. I described how we would run through there, and in mid sentence I fell to my knees and began sobbing in nostalgia. I don't know why the emotion was so strong, but apparently it was audible and forced my wife to shake me awake. She told me I was having a nightmare, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her that it was a very powerful and nostalgic dream, and those were cries of joy and longing at the same time. I just kept that to myself, and thought about how this vacation of mine has given me a chance to step back in time in various ways and remember what got me to today. First, it was a long overdue visit to my parents, where we got to voice meaningful words to one another for the first time in ages, and grow from it. And then, it was, of all things, a game - Smash Brothers Melee, that brought up all of these emotions towards a time that was truly beautiful. I'm fulfilled at this point, and invigorated for whatever it is that I'll do next.
I don't want to end this with a sour patch, but if I leave out what this brings to mind, I feel like I'm being dishonest. You see, over the last few years, there have been a number of individuals that have turned heel so to speak for reasons they don't say. People I know by the names of Todd, Daniel, his brother Luke, Khalil and some others, are among these. I don't say this to bash anyone, but rather just to make a point. I'm at an age, or point in life, if you will, where I like to get to the heart of matters, and say what needs to be said. I think that as you get older and older, the politics start to disappear in your mind. I actually love that about older people. These people I'm speaking of, have completely begun to despise me, and the sad thing is that it has nothing to do with anything negative that I've done, but apparently demons that they face. I've associated with all of these people at various points in the past, and it was a positive experience at the time. With one of them, they were actually the best man in my wedding, and an associate, when suddenly, around the time that my wife got gravely ill and was in the hospital, there was some reason in that, to suddenly despise me and never speak to me again, even when we moved into his area. With another of them, they were like a best friend who I hung out with for years, even as recently as this year, doing an art gallery in Brooklyn together, when suddenly, after a good event, completely cut me off and refused to ever speak with me again. Then there was another, who I collaborated with on a couple of my jazz albums and associated and encouraged for years, who meets and stops me in Models one day to tell me that he's ordered my new book, and looking forward to reading it, and then following that up with telling me to contact him on Facebook. Somewhere in all of that, he chose to actually lie about purchasing the book, and then cut me off when I simply asked if his order went through. All I was doing was trying to see if I could get him a discount, and make sure his order process properly. Yet something in himself caused him to project self hatred onto me.
What inspires all of this behavior you ask? I have absolutely no idea, although in my novel, I briefly touch on a theory. But regardless, I'm not saying this to air out my business or dirty laundry, because that isn't what I even consider it to be. Years ago, in younger days, I vented about things like this and pointlessly confronted people over their strange behavior, as if forcing an agreement. Now, at my age, I simply say that I pity these people, because whatever reasons they chose to embark on these senseless paths of hatred, they just aren't worth life, and it's sad that people can't see that. When I look back and also look forward to a new year, I see the final years of my current job nearing, and new plans for where I'll live in the future, as well what I'll do. I honestly pray for all of the people out there who have dedicated their lives to a complete, and stupid dead end. Hopefully this blog reaches some of them, and they are mature enough to see what it's really saying. To be clear once again, I have love for these ones, as I do everyone. I'm not bound by sad and obligatory hatred. If they tense up and hate me further after reading this, I really don't care obviously. Just think about this- it was stupid to create the rift out of nowhere in the first place, and that all lies on YOU. We all have to assess dead weight in our lives and clean it out. If they honestly think that their behavior has accomplished something, they are sadly mistaken. I'm not saying this to insult them, but to, if possible, move them to get on track.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
The Beast Series Covers UFC 3
I have wanted to, but haven't been that inspired to do a gaming series again. I recently got back into playing UFC Undisputed 3, and have been reminded how dedicated you have to be to play this game. Right now, I'm working my way to a title shot with Jon Jones, and I'll be chronicling my development along the way on my series - The Beast. This is the first of those episodes. I'm working on the follow up right now. I plan on improving the camera angle and zoom. I apologize for how unclear it may be. You should get a laugh from it at times.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oihaAgky2oU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oihaAgky2oU
Sports Update
Well, here we are. So much has transpired recently. I'm enjoying a well needed vacation right now, which I kicked off by visiting my parents down south this past week. It was a nice time spent there, that also revealed certain issues that sadly still exist in my family. I look forward to a future where some of that is rectified. However, all in all, I enjoyed seeing them again, and also seeing old antiques that they've held onto over the years including pictures- some of which I haven't seen in ages.
I'm back home readjusting now, and putting things in perspective. This week, in fantasy football, I engineered a playoff win that has me once again, for the second straight season, in the championship game. I'm the second seed, and my opponent is the first seed. It's the ideal championship game, where the 2 best teams meet. We both dominated this season, losing 7 games total between us. That's enough losses to still make the playoffs in some instances.
What's impressive about this season is the way that me and my opponent dominated this season respectively. We won in similar ways. We both have 2 of the lesser stacked teams in the league. Our runs were a showcase of what coaching means in fantasy football, and in general. It isn't about getting the biggest and strongest players and letting them loose on the field. It's about managing a roster, and knowing when to digress, and when to attack. People tend to overlook that, and brand it, "Over Thinking." It feels good to see it have us at the top. There were teams with insane rosters that I made a mark dominating this season, as did the first seed- whose team is "band camps" by the way. I didn't win a trophy all season. My first trophy was this past week in the first round of the playoffs, for Odell Beckam who I picked up off of waivers. All season, we both faced opponents with high powered offenses, but no regard for balance. We both had dangerous matchups in week 13- the week before we faced each other the first time. I was impressed how we both took on tough teams and coached to great games. He won decisively, but I lost a very close game. That was the week my running back issues hit a head. I started the season with a fairly healthy roster, only to have my first and second string RB go down. I struggled with that, as well as finding back up, but I showed a talent for finding talent. I managed to weather that storm and mask that weakness. I was infuriated that Steve Smith and Branden Oliver couldn't deliver even 1 point between them. I learned from that.
When we faced each, I was 9-4. I made a personal goal of getting double digit wins this season, and it all came down to the last game of the season, against, of all people, the number 1 player. I had envisioned going 12-2 or something, especially with the way I started the season, but I took some hard losses that made me have to revamp my team. Our game was a highly charged event, in which I came out on top, giving him only his third loss of the season. We both coasted into the playoffs, and won. Now we face each other.
Well, onto other discussions- particularly with boxing. I didn't catch this past weekend's fights live, as I was away, but I did catch replays when I came back. The only fight I have yet to see in full is the main event between Timothy Bradley and Diego Chaves. I hear that it was very controversial, and a draw that should have been a UD for Bradley. I believe that, and from what I've seen so far, and know of Chaves, I think he should be ignored by any top level fighters from here on out. He is not a respectable or honorable fighter. He doesn't come to box or fight. He takes pleasure in frustrating his opponents by sneaking foul after foul past the ref. He's sick, and you can even see the grinning pleasure he gets from it. Just like when he fought Brandon Rios, he applied several head butts to Bradley, swelling his jaw in the process, only to grin and look around. He even tells on himself by stating that he is happy with the draw decision. Of course he is. All he wants to do and frustrate whatever he can. And I get sick of the commentators who try to compare that fight to the one Bradley had verses Pacquiao. At this point, it's clear to see that you may as well gouge out the public's eyes, because it's clear they can't use them anyway. They claim to see whatever it is they were told to expect. Because Pacquiao was a huge name at the time and Bradley was an upset, it was the worst time to get a decision win over Pacman. I'm not saying he beat Pacquiao decisively, or definitely won, but if you have eyes and can watch the fight, it's clear as day that it was nothing like the fight Bradley had with Chaves. Bradley boxed Pacman, and was even busier than him at several times in that first fight. It was a closer fight than it seemed at first. It's just good that it wasn't a loss for Bradley. I'm sure he's learned his lesson though- don't give dirty journeymen opportunities at your belts.
In the Devon Alexander vs. Khan fight, I was very surprised with Khan's dominance. He showed good defense, and sharp offense against a game, but confused Alexander. Now, the pieces are in place to push the fight with Mayweather. And I will go on record again in stating that the fight is beyond stupid, and the public will fall right into the trap. Mayweather did well to remain relatively quiet lately after Pacquiao made yet another clear statement that their fight needs to happen. Putting together any other fight now, is nothing short of retardation. But the problem is that it's very easy to expose the retardation of the public. All he had to do was wait and pray for a dominant Khan win, to take wind out of Pacman's dominance of Algieri. Now, he can take the fight with Khan over to England, and with the help of the media hyping the Khan win, and a little bit of campaigning, before you know it, he'll be fighting Khan, and making money doing it, even alongside a potential Cotto vs. Canelo event on May 2nd. That's how easy it is to fool people. In fact, it only takes a bit of fodder to confuse them, because you also have the media suddenly doing boxing specials showcasing Keith Thurman. He's been a good boxer for a while, but I have never seen the media pushing like this ever before. The other day, I go onto Yahoo sports to look at the boxing column, and I see a video that is supposed to be a preview of his fight with Bundu. However, the entire video deviates to a campaign for a Mayweather fight. And this isn't just from Thurman's mouth- he's been wanting that fight forever. What surprised me is that it was the media pushing it as a legitimate fight that needs to happen now. Since when the heck does a contender with no top 10 wins deserve an immediate fight with a HOF fighter who has 2 fights on his final contract? That's especially stupid considering the fact that the Pacquiao fight still hasn't happened. But this all serves to Mayweather's benefit. He watches the confusion, and now he can step in and pick Thurman or Khan and avoid the Pacman fight. And it won't be nearly as noticed as it would have been a month ago, simply because there are more players involved now. It sound stupid, but it's really that simple to fool people.
To Thurman's credit, he showed he can box, doing what Lomachenko was cheered for a couple of weeks ago, being booed in the process. It was so funny watching Brian Kenny try to find a way to respectfully explain the retarded behavior of the boxing fans at the event. With their Russian hero, it was fine that he boxed and moved the entire night though. Thurman's opponent- Leonard Bundu, was a joke. I keep hearing about his undefeated record, which he maintained in Europe. Retired fighters go to Europe to have successful runs. Bundu has some ability, but was gun shy the entire night. I don't want to hear about counter punching opportunities. It looked like Bundu was already set up to ease off of the trigger. Not saying he would have won either way. However, I still noticed some holes in Thurman's game. I never got a chance to really give him a look until this fight. I saw bits and pieces and heard the media and his mouth, but it's always good to go to the source. Thurman fights with very low hands, and like the old Khan, has a tendency to drop his right hand when turning out, and be a sitting duck for left hooks to the head and body. He also, while never hurt in that fight, showed that he can be, when Bundu stunned him with a hook at one point, but didn't follow up. In fact, Keith froze in that instance as if not knowing what to do. There were little moments, where I felt that Bundu could turn up the pressure and hurt Thurman. He throws wide punches at times, which leave him open for counters inside and down the middle. Overall he boxed well and won every round, against a short, old, and gun-shy journeyman. How people see a mega-fight potential in him is ridiculous at this point. Khan would beat him, and even he knows that to a degree, and even stated it in an interview. He knows that he isn't ready. I saw an video on youtube that quotes Thurman as saying Bundu is the closest to Mayweather. I sincerely hope that was a joke. Khan looked good, but I still think Pacquiao beats him, and Mayweather beat him, possibly both by stoppage. He did show good defense, and I liked the snap on his punches early in the fight. However, his aggression is probably the main thing he needs to work on at this point. He needs to develop finishing combinations more. There is no reason he shouldn't have stopped Alexander. He couldn't see himself doing it, and if you've been around this sport long enough you can tell that's why by just looking at him and his body language. Once it wasn't an early KO, it wasn't going to happen. I liked his footwork alot. He looks polished, smooth, and in incredible shape. He just isn't ready for Mayweather yet. He's more ready than Thurman though. I just say he should fight Mayweather after Pacman.
I'm back home readjusting now, and putting things in perspective. This week, in fantasy football, I engineered a playoff win that has me once again, for the second straight season, in the championship game. I'm the second seed, and my opponent is the first seed. It's the ideal championship game, where the 2 best teams meet. We both dominated this season, losing 7 games total between us. That's enough losses to still make the playoffs in some instances.
What's impressive about this season is the way that me and my opponent dominated this season respectively. We won in similar ways. We both have 2 of the lesser stacked teams in the league. Our runs were a showcase of what coaching means in fantasy football, and in general. It isn't about getting the biggest and strongest players and letting them loose on the field. It's about managing a roster, and knowing when to digress, and when to attack. People tend to overlook that, and brand it, "Over Thinking." It feels good to see it have us at the top. There were teams with insane rosters that I made a mark dominating this season, as did the first seed- whose team is "band camps" by the way. I didn't win a trophy all season. My first trophy was this past week in the first round of the playoffs, for Odell Beckam who I picked up off of waivers. All season, we both faced opponents with high powered offenses, but no regard for balance. We both had dangerous matchups in week 13- the week before we faced each other the first time. I was impressed how we both took on tough teams and coached to great games. He won decisively, but I lost a very close game. That was the week my running back issues hit a head. I started the season with a fairly healthy roster, only to have my first and second string RB go down. I struggled with that, as well as finding back up, but I showed a talent for finding talent. I managed to weather that storm and mask that weakness. I was infuriated that Steve Smith and Branden Oliver couldn't deliver even 1 point between them. I learned from that.
When we faced each, I was 9-4. I made a personal goal of getting double digit wins this season, and it all came down to the last game of the season, against, of all people, the number 1 player. I had envisioned going 12-2 or something, especially with the way I started the season, but I took some hard losses that made me have to revamp my team. Our game was a highly charged event, in which I came out on top, giving him only his third loss of the season. We both coasted into the playoffs, and won. Now we face each other.
Well, onto other discussions- particularly with boxing. I didn't catch this past weekend's fights live, as I was away, but I did catch replays when I came back. The only fight I have yet to see in full is the main event between Timothy Bradley and Diego Chaves. I hear that it was very controversial, and a draw that should have been a UD for Bradley. I believe that, and from what I've seen so far, and know of Chaves, I think he should be ignored by any top level fighters from here on out. He is not a respectable or honorable fighter. He doesn't come to box or fight. He takes pleasure in frustrating his opponents by sneaking foul after foul past the ref. He's sick, and you can even see the grinning pleasure he gets from it. Just like when he fought Brandon Rios, he applied several head butts to Bradley, swelling his jaw in the process, only to grin and look around. He even tells on himself by stating that he is happy with the draw decision. Of course he is. All he wants to do and frustrate whatever he can. And I get sick of the commentators who try to compare that fight to the one Bradley had verses Pacquiao. At this point, it's clear to see that you may as well gouge out the public's eyes, because it's clear they can't use them anyway. They claim to see whatever it is they were told to expect. Because Pacquiao was a huge name at the time and Bradley was an upset, it was the worst time to get a decision win over Pacman. I'm not saying he beat Pacquiao decisively, or definitely won, but if you have eyes and can watch the fight, it's clear as day that it was nothing like the fight Bradley had with Chaves. Bradley boxed Pacman, and was even busier than him at several times in that first fight. It was a closer fight than it seemed at first. It's just good that it wasn't a loss for Bradley. I'm sure he's learned his lesson though- don't give dirty journeymen opportunities at your belts.
In the Devon Alexander vs. Khan fight, I was very surprised with Khan's dominance. He showed good defense, and sharp offense against a game, but confused Alexander. Now, the pieces are in place to push the fight with Mayweather. And I will go on record again in stating that the fight is beyond stupid, and the public will fall right into the trap. Mayweather did well to remain relatively quiet lately after Pacquiao made yet another clear statement that their fight needs to happen. Putting together any other fight now, is nothing short of retardation. But the problem is that it's very easy to expose the retardation of the public. All he had to do was wait and pray for a dominant Khan win, to take wind out of Pacman's dominance of Algieri. Now, he can take the fight with Khan over to England, and with the help of the media hyping the Khan win, and a little bit of campaigning, before you know it, he'll be fighting Khan, and making money doing it, even alongside a potential Cotto vs. Canelo event on May 2nd. That's how easy it is to fool people. In fact, it only takes a bit of fodder to confuse them, because you also have the media suddenly doing boxing specials showcasing Keith Thurman. He's been a good boxer for a while, but I have never seen the media pushing like this ever before. The other day, I go onto Yahoo sports to look at the boxing column, and I see a video that is supposed to be a preview of his fight with Bundu. However, the entire video deviates to a campaign for a Mayweather fight. And this isn't just from Thurman's mouth- he's been wanting that fight forever. What surprised me is that it was the media pushing it as a legitimate fight that needs to happen now. Since when the heck does a contender with no top 10 wins deserve an immediate fight with a HOF fighter who has 2 fights on his final contract? That's especially stupid considering the fact that the Pacquiao fight still hasn't happened. But this all serves to Mayweather's benefit. He watches the confusion, and now he can step in and pick Thurman or Khan and avoid the Pacman fight. And it won't be nearly as noticed as it would have been a month ago, simply because there are more players involved now. It sound stupid, but it's really that simple to fool people.
To Thurman's credit, he showed he can box, doing what Lomachenko was cheered for a couple of weeks ago, being booed in the process. It was so funny watching Brian Kenny try to find a way to respectfully explain the retarded behavior of the boxing fans at the event. With their Russian hero, it was fine that he boxed and moved the entire night though. Thurman's opponent- Leonard Bundu, was a joke. I keep hearing about his undefeated record, which he maintained in Europe. Retired fighters go to Europe to have successful runs. Bundu has some ability, but was gun shy the entire night. I don't want to hear about counter punching opportunities. It looked like Bundu was already set up to ease off of the trigger. Not saying he would have won either way. However, I still noticed some holes in Thurman's game. I never got a chance to really give him a look until this fight. I saw bits and pieces and heard the media and his mouth, but it's always good to go to the source. Thurman fights with very low hands, and like the old Khan, has a tendency to drop his right hand when turning out, and be a sitting duck for left hooks to the head and body. He also, while never hurt in that fight, showed that he can be, when Bundu stunned him with a hook at one point, but didn't follow up. In fact, Keith froze in that instance as if not knowing what to do. There were little moments, where I felt that Bundu could turn up the pressure and hurt Thurman. He throws wide punches at times, which leave him open for counters inside and down the middle. Overall he boxed well and won every round, against a short, old, and gun-shy journeyman. How people see a mega-fight potential in him is ridiculous at this point. Khan would beat him, and even he knows that to a degree, and even stated it in an interview. He knows that he isn't ready. I saw an video on youtube that quotes Thurman as saying Bundu is the closest to Mayweather. I sincerely hope that was a joke. Khan looked good, but I still think Pacquiao beats him, and Mayweather beat him, possibly both by stoppage. He did show good defense, and I liked the snap on his punches early in the fight. However, his aggression is probably the main thing he needs to work on at this point. He needs to develop finishing combinations more. There is no reason he shouldn't have stopped Alexander. He couldn't see himself doing it, and if you've been around this sport long enough you can tell that's why by just looking at him and his body language. Once it wasn't an early KO, it wasn't going to happen. I liked his footwork alot. He looks polished, smooth, and in incredible shape. He just isn't ready for Mayweather yet. He's more ready than Thurman though. I just say he should fight Mayweather after Pacman.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
New Workout tip
I just put together a pretty effective indoor workout that should be effective for staying in peak condition through the winter months. I had been agonizing over this for quite a while, until Crossfit gave me a few ideas. My crossfit team is still trying to put together outdoor workouts, but inevitably the months will come when there is no going outdoors, even to work. Me and my coach talked about the horrors of coming out of hibernation and having to start from scratch on the intense Crossfit workout regimens. That could be brutal, or even dangerous. That's why I've been preparing.
I call this workout- Supreme Self
At first, I wanted to put together a challenging circuit that hits all of the major muscle groups. You could then do reps of it until wasted. Then, half-way through the workout, I noticed that it would be crazy to mix it up. So it goes like this:
First Set:
Perfect Push ups - 30
Pull ups - 15
Kettle Bell snatches (20lbs)- 10 x each arm
Ab Wheel- 20
Plank - 1 minute
(1 minute of rest maximum- exceeding this restarts the set)
Second Set: Multiply everything by 2
Perfect Push ups - 60
Pull ups - 30
Kettle Bell snatches (20lbs) - 20x each arm * i like to do alternating reps on this*
Ab wheel - 40
Plank - 2 minutes
(when you are winded, take no more than 30 seconds to rest. Exceeding this restarts the set)
It's a very quick and effective way to hit muscles and cardio. Routines like this will have you stepping out of the cave in the spring, ready for crossfit again. Remember to have a recovery shake loaded with protein to repair your muscles.
I call this workout- Supreme Self
At first, I wanted to put together a challenging circuit that hits all of the major muscle groups. You could then do reps of it until wasted. Then, half-way through the workout, I noticed that it would be crazy to mix it up. So it goes like this:
First Set:
Perfect Push ups - 30
Pull ups - 15
Kettle Bell snatches (20lbs)- 10 x each arm
Ab Wheel- 20
Plank - 1 minute
(1 minute of rest maximum- exceeding this restarts the set)
Second Set: Multiply everything by 2
Perfect Push ups - 60
Pull ups - 30
Kettle Bell snatches (20lbs) - 20x each arm * i like to do alternating reps on this*
Ab wheel - 40
Plank - 2 minutes
(when you are winded, take no more than 30 seconds to rest. Exceeding this restarts the set)
It's a very quick and effective way to hit muscles and cardio. Routines like this will have you stepping out of the cave in the spring, ready for crossfit again. Remember to have a recovery shake loaded with protein to repair your muscles.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
An Essay on Race Relations
An Essay on Race Relations
This is an essay that I’ve felt very compelled to write in recent times due to the amassed ignorance, bigotry, historical leniency, and hatred that runs all too rampant in today’s society. For years, you hear racial slurs used to deride other races, screaming above the din of reason, and you see wall erected daily to further separate people, even beyond the point of perception. In my novel, “Magnum Opus: Reminiscer,” I made mention of the race riots that occurred in Chicago and other American cities since the dawn of the countries inception. Going back to the 1960‘s, you have had cities that underwent racial reform, go completely full circle. Here we stand today, with laughable court cases such as the murders of Trayvon Martin, and Michael Brown. I’ll briefly go into the cases so as to lay a groundwork for this discussion.
First, we have the case of Trayvon Martin. This is a teenager in Florida who, as most children of this era, can be tied to loose behavior if analyzed enough. He’s visiting his father and his father’s girlfriend, for what couldn’t have been the first time. They live in a community with a neighborhood watch, much like many neighborhoods in this country, including the ones that I’ve lived in. The problem, is that there are undertones that lay in the hearts of the residents that will surface from time to time. A neighborhood watch advocate named George Zimmerman utilizes Florida’s free carrying laws, and holds weapons. He also happens to be on the neighborhood watch panel. He follows Trayvon home and confronts him, following him through walkways and down streets after calling emergency services and being told not to pursue. Let’s pause for a moment at this juncture. What do you make of the order to not pursue? That’s a key point that many people overlook as arbitrary, when in fact there is a reason for that command. Regardless of Florida laws, a citizen who carries, and takes on the role of a neigborhood watch person at the same time, has to realized that they are now assuming a role that is not legal for a citizen. It’s the reason cops and other governmental officers are sworn in. That right has to be earned. You don’t get to mix and match at your choosing. He disobeys, starts a confrontation, and kills Trayvon. Common sense is left to put the pieces together as far as motive, but that is usually asking to much of the public. Even the jurors realized that clearing Zimmerman of murder was wrong. Yet, they speak of their hands being tied, which leaves so many questions in itself.
Now, we also have the murder of a Missouri teen, Michael Brown. Another so-called troubled teen who is this time, accosted by an officer. The officer’s story is beyond ridiculous, and makes Zimmerman look noble if anything. He claimed a number of different scenarios from what I recall, including that Mike controlled and assaulted him while in the vehicle, also batting him around like a bear with unbelievable power, to walking through gunshots to get to him. I felt such disgust for the people of this country while listening to that interview, being that people are somewhat skeptical, but overall do not see how outright ridiculous and fabricated the entire tale is. He sits there shivering, and making up the story as he goes along, talking to the reporter. He knows that, bottom line, he has to show no remorse for the mission he completed. He knows it, and all of racist America watching and cheering him on knows it. Even to the point of death, that must be obeyed. Even the interviewer looks on in amazement. In the end, he’s a sodier.
I won’t get too in depth on those cases, because they paint a bigger picture. We live in a country that was pretty much built on fear and hatred. Slavers and descendents alike love to point to the bible as having slavery, as well as other countries. Yet, they fail to realize the nature is completely different as well as the motive. Racism was at the heart of American slavery. And prior to that, as well as superceding it, is self-hatred. That’s an aspect that racists in the world are scared to accept, but the fact is that it is unavoidable. To be fair, there is a large amount of ignorance on both sides, with the supremacists being the most ignorant and animalistic.
This all surrounds the sad fact that people don’t know their origins. From secular records and biblical records, down to what is evident to the competent today, there is evidence of common first parents. Scientists have found greater variances within races than without. Anomalies occur daily, such as traits of other races being found in one another. People brush this off as stupid coincidences and continue to hate what they are ignorant of. I’ve met a lot of historians and supremacists from different cultures and races, and what I’ve noticed is that they all miss huge facts in their blind hatred of one another. There is a dispute over the race of bible characters when the evidence is still there today. This shows you how stupid people are capable of becoming.
Before I tangent off, I want to touch on one of the main things I want to discuss. Being blunt, I have to say there has been a conscious effort for ages to quarantine and minimize the black race. This writing isn’t to fist-pump a revolution. That is just one of the many aspects of mankind and evil’s constant attack on any unity in this world. Today we now sit in a world in the year 2015, that is as close to being segregated as it was decades ago. They talk about progress, but we seem to take one step forward, and three backwards. I was watching a documentary that my father-in-law showed me the other day. I had see some of the footage before. In it, they showed documentation and evidence of how widespread individuals with African roots spread. The bottom line is that all races cam from the Mediterranean region originally. That is where Eden was. That is where Noah was. That is where several landmarks from mankind’s beginnings were, and still are today. Yet, people shun that, and are more willing to run to tales of evolution, that are at most, crap. Looking at races in Indonesia, Italy, and several other countries, including in South Africa, there are many mixtures of races and ethnicities. I’ve known this for a long time, and I’m 29 years old. Somehow, I have become surrounded by a sea of idiots who don’t even know anything but the words black and white. My father is a descendent of Africans, Mediterraneans, and Asians. That doesn’t just blow the mind of the common fool, but even those supposedly related to me by blood. I’ve mentioned that fact before. We live in a society that has a very difficult time specifying. To make things easier, everything is sectored to an A-side, or a B-side. Heads or tails. There can be no variations. And what we see, is based off of what we socially expect.
When I look at society today, I see an effort to isolate, in America, the black race. Now, some of my ancestors were Sicilians who migrated to Africa. When I mentioned that to a coworker of mine, guess what his response was? He said, “Yeah, I know. There are some blacks in Sicily and other countries.” And the sad thing is that his stupid response would be the response of 999 out of 1,000 people. Stupidity like that is no longer rare. It’s the commodity today. He totally misses the point. I never said my family today is Sicilian. I said ancestors- meaning natural Sicilians. I even stated plainly that they migrated TOO Africa. The thing is that society paints blacks as a simple, monkey race, that stayed caged in Africa with no variance or ingenuity, while the rest of the world advanced, mixed, and mingled. That is one of the most insulting, yet covert ideas I’ve ever seen. The sad thing, is that I’m one of the only people who sees that. And it stems, once again, from insecurity. The supremacists that built this country are afraid of their reflection. The had slaves for that very purpose, and leeched off of blacks from the beginning. Then they pretend to believe they’re superior and hate blacks, when evidence shows that they are enamored by them, and envious of them.
My coworker is part of the sea of ignorance. I was looking at an article today about the woman who is going to review the Grand Jury ruling of the policeman who murdered Mike Brown. She’s an Indian woman who experienced racism in Europe as a child. She will apparently take a judicial position soon. In this country, that’s about all that would be allowed. If she isn’t careful, she will draw heavy fired. She has worked with similar cases in the past, and is very keen. You better believe that she won’t be allowed to make any major changes. I look at so called intellects like Hawking and I laugh a bit. Society, including the oppressed, are so brain washed. Ask yourself if you could ever see a black or brown person ever be revered as the intellect that society looks to for advice and guidance. Ask yourself if you could ever see yourself respecting a black person to that degree. If you’re honest, most of you will say no. Society has brainwashed you into looking to whites as a superior breed. I say this not to be a bigot or to speak against any race. This is just how subtle the devil is with his division tactics. When militant blacks see this, they end up becoming their enemy and behaving just as ruthlessly. We have poets like Langston Hughes as forerunners. You will never see them go beyond being anything but an interesting jester. Never will they stand at the forefront. We’ve been conditioned to accept that a black can never lead.
The idiocy of my coworker is conditioned in him. See, we have a rule. You have those who are socially seen as blacks, and those who play the game and are given the asylum of being white, or what I call off-white. Those two groups operate on a safety net that keeps them from ever being put under the pressures of a biased society. And like I said earlier, socially seen has almost nothing to do with physical vision. If society looks at your image, and gets an overall perception of negro, you are nothing but a useless black who comes from nothing. It’s that simple. I don’t talk about my roots, even with family, because I’ve become aware of how ignorant the world has become. It’s pointless conversation. It’s the same reason I no longer discuss art. This is an artless world. To discuss it would be to fake a dance with a parter who feigns interest, and lacks any real knowledge of the steps. It would serve only to infuriate the artist. Italians are Mediterranean. Any real Jew, is Middle Eastern in origin. Yet, why do you see these two groups turn on blacks and play the Aryan card when convenient? Like I said, the perception has been instilled quite well by the early founding white racist bigots of the overhead society, that being at least associated with whites, is to be at the very top of humanity. And to be associated anywhere near blacks, is to be at the depths of it. Therefore, the black versus white and off-white war began. My coworker who I mentioned, is Italian. If you look at them, they clearly look olive skinned, showing their middle easter roots. In fact, you will find that most of their ancestors passed though and shared the middle east throughout history. Jews also, unless the European derivatives, are olive skinned, and show middle eastern features. This is the same region that some of my ancestors come from. Yet, there is this fear of seeing that for what it is. Do you know how many Italians I’ve watched be mistaken for Mexican or Puerto Rican? And the funny thing is that right after the mistake is corrected, they’ll go right back to calling the person white. I’m like, “Am I in the twilight zone? What just happened? How do you accidentally look like another race?” Apparently, that’s a new trick. But you try to tell me that my theory about social sight is wrong!
When I look at the reception I’ve received over my career, it all aligns. If I was white, there is no doubt my work would be revered. Unfortunately, as I mentioned in my novel, I came along in a time where skill can’t get over. I know that what I’ve said and done over the years has had meaning. I’m not saying that my every crap was made of gold. I’m calling it as it is. When I look around and see a world where they don’t even hail depth, what does that tell me? The won’t see reason either. Nothing I’ve ever said has gotten past that front gate. That gate is a mandate that everything I say must be hated and discarded. No questions are asked. That simple and stupid mandate is just obediently obeyed. And it just may have a lot to do with race. Of course, I’m aware there are other factors, but there is also a reason you see somewhat of a contrast with the supremacists that run this country, and those who share their race in other parts of the world. That wall of insecurity isn’t as prevalent. If you go to Germany or Denmark, you will meet caucasians who will talk about art, and talk in a straight forward conversation. That entire aura of discomfort is gone. They aren’t scrambling for their identity like the racists that ran to, and claim to have built America.
This essay isn’t to preach reform, even though it’s needed. That is something that won’t come about in this time. However, this is to awaken the reader to what is around them. I want you to think about this writing the next time you interact in society, with a family member, or a stranger. Think about how you see them, and realize how much control the sick society heads have seized over you, and the need to get it back. Hatred is not freedom. Destruction is not freedom. That is a lie that the trapped tell themselves to continue to sleep. The other day I spoke about how many, who choose a sick and destructive lifestyle, are like drug attics chasing a moment. It’s very real. No matter how you try to bat away reason and principles, you are only, in the end, doing it for a blissful moment of rebellion. How much is that worth? Where does that stand in the stream of forever? It’s not about your will. You didn’t make the universe. The truth is like the sunrise. It’s coming no matter what. It’s sick not to embrace that beauty for what it is, and see the promise that will be.
Normally, that line would end it, and finish like a poet or something- which I am. I’m also going to add to it that it’s sad that this most likely will be glossed over and once again stopped at the front gate of modern reason. Like most other things I’ve said, it’s subconsciously labeled nonsense and ignored. And part of the reason was discussed in this little article. And it’s really sad, you know? Because, I don’t always go into human relation topics, but I did here, and what was said is true. Sometimes, when I finish a project, depending on how big it is in scope, I almost sit back, biting nails, on pins and needles, anxious to see the public take it in- at least I used to be that way. And each time, I’m met with disappointment, at strangers, and so-called family and friends. None seem to have the guts to attack my ideas head on and draw a conclusion, as if entertaining it bring forth some kind of deadly ostracism. I often wonder if people really do share my blood. I just don’t see it. I haven’t seen a trace of where I’m coming from. It’s always just Pariah talk. To be honest, if you read my novel, after reading this, some of the topics will become clearer. I was pleased with the finished product. Man, I was just looking at the articles about Usher’s concert the other day, and I was thinking about how mine would be. I really have respect for the few artists left who are in love with music and art. I read about how he got on the drums and took the energy through the roof, just having fun. And you people are so blown away by that, when that’s the only way the true artist knows. He wasn’t trying or tensing a muscle. He was relaxed. I would love to do something like that. I think mine would be on another level, especially since I have so much to tell. Just like him, I’d go on with no breaks probably. I think he played too many love ballads in that session. I’d like to take it everywhere. I wish more people were like me. I know that sounds vain, and it is. When I see a new and glowing artist, I love to see what he has in store. I don’t look at his name, or feel a certain way about him that I’m told. I take it in, more readily than from an established artist, because I know that, in some ways I’m getting so much more. People just can’t see that. It has to be by the rules. I’m happy not to be in chains like that. If it’s freedom, keep it. I went to a couple of concerts downtown by “nobodies,” and they were amazing.
This is an essay that I’ve felt very compelled to write in recent times due to the amassed ignorance, bigotry, historical leniency, and hatred that runs all too rampant in today’s society. For years, you hear racial slurs used to deride other races, screaming above the din of reason, and you see wall erected daily to further separate people, even beyond the point of perception. In my novel, “Magnum Opus: Reminiscer,” I made mention of the race riots that occurred in Chicago and other American cities since the dawn of the countries inception. Going back to the 1960‘s, you have had cities that underwent racial reform, go completely full circle. Here we stand today, with laughable court cases such as the murders of Trayvon Martin, and Michael Brown. I’ll briefly go into the cases so as to lay a groundwork for this discussion.
First, we have the case of Trayvon Martin. This is a teenager in Florida who, as most children of this era, can be tied to loose behavior if analyzed enough. He’s visiting his father and his father’s girlfriend, for what couldn’t have been the first time. They live in a community with a neighborhood watch, much like many neighborhoods in this country, including the ones that I’ve lived in. The problem, is that there are undertones that lay in the hearts of the residents that will surface from time to time. A neighborhood watch advocate named George Zimmerman utilizes Florida’s free carrying laws, and holds weapons. He also happens to be on the neighborhood watch panel. He follows Trayvon home and confronts him, following him through walkways and down streets after calling emergency services and being told not to pursue. Let’s pause for a moment at this juncture. What do you make of the order to not pursue? That’s a key point that many people overlook as arbitrary, when in fact there is a reason for that command. Regardless of Florida laws, a citizen who carries, and takes on the role of a neigborhood watch person at the same time, has to realized that they are now assuming a role that is not legal for a citizen. It’s the reason cops and other governmental officers are sworn in. That right has to be earned. You don’t get to mix and match at your choosing. He disobeys, starts a confrontation, and kills Trayvon. Common sense is left to put the pieces together as far as motive, but that is usually asking to much of the public. Even the jurors realized that clearing Zimmerman of murder was wrong. Yet, they speak of their hands being tied, which leaves so many questions in itself.
Now, we also have the murder of a Missouri teen, Michael Brown. Another so-called troubled teen who is this time, accosted by an officer. The officer’s story is beyond ridiculous, and makes Zimmerman look noble if anything. He claimed a number of different scenarios from what I recall, including that Mike controlled and assaulted him while in the vehicle, also batting him around like a bear with unbelievable power, to walking through gunshots to get to him. I felt such disgust for the people of this country while listening to that interview, being that people are somewhat skeptical, but overall do not see how outright ridiculous and fabricated the entire tale is. He sits there shivering, and making up the story as he goes along, talking to the reporter. He knows that, bottom line, he has to show no remorse for the mission he completed. He knows it, and all of racist America watching and cheering him on knows it. Even to the point of death, that must be obeyed. Even the interviewer looks on in amazement. In the end, he’s a sodier.
I won’t get too in depth on those cases, because they paint a bigger picture. We live in a country that was pretty much built on fear and hatred. Slavers and descendents alike love to point to the bible as having slavery, as well as other countries. Yet, they fail to realize the nature is completely different as well as the motive. Racism was at the heart of American slavery. And prior to that, as well as superceding it, is self-hatred. That’s an aspect that racists in the world are scared to accept, but the fact is that it is unavoidable. To be fair, there is a large amount of ignorance on both sides, with the supremacists being the most ignorant and animalistic.
This all surrounds the sad fact that people don’t know their origins. From secular records and biblical records, down to what is evident to the competent today, there is evidence of common first parents. Scientists have found greater variances within races than without. Anomalies occur daily, such as traits of other races being found in one another. People brush this off as stupid coincidences and continue to hate what they are ignorant of. I’ve met a lot of historians and supremacists from different cultures and races, and what I’ve noticed is that they all miss huge facts in their blind hatred of one another. There is a dispute over the race of bible characters when the evidence is still there today. This shows you how stupid people are capable of becoming.
Before I tangent off, I want to touch on one of the main things I want to discuss. Being blunt, I have to say there has been a conscious effort for ages to quarantine and minimize the black race. This writing isn’t to fist-pump a revolution. That is just one of the many aspects of mankind and evil’s constant attack on any unity in this world. Today we now sit in a world in the year 2015, that is as close to being segregated as it was decades ago. They talk about progress, but we seem to take one step forward, and three backwards. I was watching a documentary that my father-in-law showed me the other day. I had see some of the footage before. In it, they showed documentation and evidence of how widespread individuals with African roots spread. The bottom line is that all races cam from the Mediterranean region originally. That is where Eden was. That is where Noah was. That is where several landmarks from mankind’s beginnings were, and still are today. Yet, people shun that, and are more willing to run to tales of evolution, that are at most, crap. Looking at races in Indonesia, Italy, and several other countries, including in South Africa, there are many mixtures of races and ethnicities. I’ve known this for a long time, and I’m 29 years old. Somehow, I have become surrounded by a sea of idiots who don’t even know anything but the words black and white. My father is a descendent of Africans, Mediterraneans, and Asians. That doesn’t just blow the mind of the common fool, but even those supposedly related to me by blood. I’ve mentioned that fact before. We live in a society that has a very difficult time specifying. To make things easier, everything is sectored to an A-side, or a B-side. Heads or tails. There can be no variations. And what we see, is based off of what we socially expect.
When I look at society today, I see an effort to isolate, in America, the black race. Now, some of my ancestors were Sicilians who migrated to Africa. When I mentioned that to a coworker of mine, guess what his response was? He said, “Yeah, I know. There are some blacks in Sicily and other countries.” And the sad thing is that his stupid response would be the response of 999 out of 1,000 people. Stupidity like that is no longer rare. It’s the commodity today. He totally misses the point. I never said my family today is Sicilian. I said ancestors- meaning natural Sicilians. I even stated plainly that they migrated TOO Africa. The thing is that society paints blacks as a simple, monkey race, that stayed caged in Africa with no variance or ingenuity, while the rest of the world advanced, mixed, and mingled. That is one of the most insulting, yet covert ideas I’ve ever seen. The sad thing, is that I’m one of the only people who sees that. And it stems, once again, from insecurity. The supremacists that built this country are afraid of their reflection. The had slaves for that very purpose, and leeched off of blacks from the beginning. Then they pretend to believe they’re superior and hate blacks, when evidence shows that they are enamored by them, and envious of them.
My coworker is part of the sea of ignorance. I was looking at an article today about the woman who is going to review the Grand Jury ruling of the policeman who murdered Mike Brown. She’s an Indian woman who experienced racism in Europe as a child. She will apparently take a judicial position soon. In this country, that’s about all that would be allowed. If she isn’t careful, she will draw heavy fired. She has worked with similar cases in the past, and is very keen. You better believe that she won’t be allowed to make any major changes. I look at so called intellects like Hawking and I laugh a bit. Society, including the oppressed, are so brain washed. Ask yourself if you could ever see a black or brown person ever be revered as the intellect that society looks to for advice and guidance. Ask yourself if you could ever see yourself respecting a black person to that degree. If you’re honest, most of you will say no. Society has brainwashed you into looking to whites as a superior breed. I say this not to be a bigot or to speak against any race. This is just how subtle the devil is with his division tactics. When militant blacks see this, they end up becoming their enemy and behaving just as ruthlessly. We have poets like Langston Hughes as forerunners. You will never see them go beyond being anything but an interesting jester. Never will they stand at the forefront. We’ve been conditioned to accept that a black can never lead.
The idiocy of my coworker is conditioned in him. See, we have a rule. You have those who are socially seen as blacks, and those who play the game and are given the asylum of being white, or what I call off-white. Those two groups operate on a safety net that keeps them from ever being put under the pressures of a biased society. And like I said earlier, socially seen has almost nothing to do with physical vision. If society looks at your image, and gets an overall perception of negro, you are nothing but a useless black who comes from nothing. It’s that simple. I don’t talk about my roots, even with family, because I’ve become aware of how ignorant the world has become. It’s pointless conversation. It’s the same reason I no longer discuss art. This is an artless world. To discuss it would be to fake a dance with a parter who feigns interest, and lacks any real knowledge of the steps. It would serve only to infuriate the artist. Italians are Mediterranean. Any real Jew, is Middle Eastern in origin. Yet, why do you see these two groups turn on blacks and play the Aryan card when convenient? Like I said, the perception has been instilled quite well by the early founding white racist bigots of the overhead society, that being at least associated with whites, is to be at the very top of humanity. And to be associated anywhere near blacks, is to be at the depths of it. Therefore, the black versus white and off-white war began. My coworker who I mentioned, is Italian. If you look at them, they clearly look olive skinned, showing their middle easter roots. In fact, you will find that most of their ancestors passed though and shared the middle east throughout history. Jews also, unless the European derivatives, are olive skinned, and show middle eastern features. This is the same region that some of my ancestors come from. Yet, there is this fear of seeing that for what it is. Do you know how many Italians I’ve watched be mistaken for Mexican or Puerto Rican? And the funny thing is that right after the mistake is corrected, they’ll go right back to calling the person white. I’m like, “Am I in the twilight zone? What just happened? How do you accidentally look like another race?” Apparently, that’s a new trick. But you try to tell me that my theory about social sight is wrong!
When I look at the reception I’ve received over my career, it all aligns. If I was white, there is no doubt my work would be revered. Unfortunately, as I mentioned in my novel, I came along in a time where skill can’t get over. I know that what I’ve said and done over the years has had meaning. I’m not saying that my every crap was made of gold. I’m calling it as it is. When I look around and see a world where they don’t even hail depth, what does that tell me? The won’t see reason either. Nothing I’ve ever said has gotten past that front gate. That gate is a mandate that everything I say must be hated and discarded. No questions are asked. That simple and stupid mandate is just obediently obeyed. And it just may have a lot to do with race. Of course, I’m aware there are other factors, but there is also a reason you see somewhat of a contrast with the supremacists that run this country, and those who share their race in other parts of the world. That wall of insecurity isn’t as prevalent. If you go to Germany or Denmark, you will meet caucasians who will talk about art, and talk in a straight forward conversation. That entire aura of discomfort is gone. They aren’t scrambling for their identity like the racists that ran to, and claim to have built America.
This essay isn’t to preach reform, even though it’s needed. That is something that won’t come about in this time. However, this is to awaken the reader to what is around them. I want you to think about this writing the next time you interact in society, with a family member, or a stranger. Think about how you see them, and realize how much control the sick society heads have seized over you, and the need to get it back. Hatred is not freedom. Destruction is not freedom. That is a lie that the trapped tell themselves to continue to sleep. The other day I spoke about how many, who choose a sick and destructive lifestyle, are like drug attics chasing a moment. It’s very real. No matter how you try to bat away reason and principles, you are only, in the end, doing it for a blissful moment of rebellion. How much is that worth? Where does that stand in the stream of forever? It’s not about your will. You didn’t make the universe. The truth is like the sunrise. It’s coming no matter what. It’s sick not to embrace that beauty for what it is, and see the promise that will be.
Normally, that line would end it, and finish like a poet or something- which I am. I’m also going to add to it that it’s sad that this most likely will be glossed over and once again stopped at the front gate of modern reason. Like most other things I’ve said, it’s subconsciously labeled nonsense and ignored. And part of the reason was discussed in this little article. And it’s really sad, you know? Because, I don’t always go into human relation topics, but I did here, and what was said is true. Sometimes, when I finish a project, depending on how big it is in scope, I almost sit back, biting nails, on pins and needles, anxious to see the public take it in- at least I used to be that way. And each time, I’m met with disappointment, at strangers, and so-called family and friends. None seem to have the guts to attack my ideas head on and draw a conclusion, as if entertaining it bring forth some kind of deadly ostracism. I often wonder if people really do share my blood. I just don’t see it. I haven’t seen a trace of where I’m coming from. It’s always just Pariah talk. To be honest, if you read my novel, after reading this, some of the topics will become clearer. I was pleased with the finished product. Man, I was just looking at the articles about Usher’s concert the other day, and I was thinking about how mine would be. I really have respect for the few artists left who are in love with music and art. I read about how he got on the drums and took the energy through the roof, just having fun. And you people are so blown away by that, when that’s the only way the true artist knows. He wasn’t trying or tensing a muscle. He was relaxed. I would love to do something like that. I think mine would be on another level, especially since I have so much to tell. Just like him, I’d go on with no breaks probably. I think he played too many love ballads in that session. I’d like to take it everywhere. I wish more people were like me. I know that sounds vain, and it is. When I see a new and glowing artist, I love to see what he has in store. I don’t look at his name, or feel a certain way about him that I’m told. I take it in, more readily than from an established artist, because I know that, in some ways I’m getting so much more. People just can’t see that. It has to be by the rules. I’m happy not to be in chains like that. If it’s freedom, keep it. I went to a couple of concerts downtown by “nobodies,” and they were amazing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)